Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
