we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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