put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
