Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Four minutes until I can fart!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Boobs speak an international language.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
