We're facebook friends in real life
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he shaved USA in his pubs
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
