just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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