The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
