I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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