It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
