You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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