No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
