what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
