PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize
