Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
