Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
