He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
