I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
