Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
