i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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