I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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