bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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