In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
