Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
And my parents said I crawled through the house
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
