I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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