Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
