every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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