So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
