So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
