I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
