I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
