I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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