You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
