We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize