they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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