Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
