Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
