You made me cry and you don't even care
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
