she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
