you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
