good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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