You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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