Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
