The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
