He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
