too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
