Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i believe in u and ur pee
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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