i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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