When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
