gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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