i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
